Found Again
by DreamMyFriend
Summary: Nearly three months after Stefan was dumped into quarry by Silas, he is finally found. Stefan is happy to be back but soon finds that being back in the real world presents problems, both physically and mentally.
1. Chapter 1

Blood. That was the only thought running through Stefan's mind as he ran towards the boarding house. It was all over his hands, his shirt, his pants... hell, he was covered in it from head to toe. And the worst part was, he knew it wasn't his. It was starting to dry on his arms, and he scratched at it as he ran, trying to rub some of it off. He was starting to panic; the familiar feeling that his stomach was tied in a knot told him that much. The worst part was he couldn't even remember why he was running, let alone how all the blood got on him.

His head was pounding and his pulse was racing, but Stefan was surprisingly cool. He knew that as a vampire he should still be sweating at least a little, but Stefan only felt a deep icy feeling that seeped from his skin into his bones; a very unpleasant feeling. He knew the feeling was somewhat familiar, but he couldn't place why it was familiar. Something about water...? Stefan shook his head. He didn't have time to think about that now.

He approached the boarding house and flew through the door. He ran into the living room then stopped. Why exactly was he here? Damn, he thought, I should know... I should know why I'm here, but I just can't. He stood there for a moment, his heart slowing and his breathing steadying. His mind was blank and it was killing him.

"Stefan."

Stefan turned and felt his breath hitch in his throat.

"Elena...? What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here? This isn't your home. You're not welcome here."

Stefan closed his eyes and nodded slowly. "Yes.. I- I know that."

"Then why are you here?"

He stood there, his mind racing with loose information. The blood, running towards the boarding house, meeting Elena; it was all wrong. Everything was discombobulated and nothing was making sense. The blood was gone... Why wasn't he covered in blood anymore? Why was he running? Why didn't he belong? Then it hit him. He shouldn't be here because he was dead. Sure, not technically, but he was sure that to Elena and the rest of the Mystic Falls "gang" he was. Being stuck in a safe for three months and still not being found had told him that much. They didn't give a damn about him anymore. And hell, why should he care? He didn't need them. Sure, being stuck in a safe wasn't all that much fun, but at least he didn't have to deal with Damon and Elena being together.

With a familiar jolt, Stefan once again found himself in the safe, completely submerged in darkness. He knew how this would go. He was used to it by now.

He pushed all the air out of his lungs, and felt a slight tickle on his face from all the bubbles. Despite being a vampire, Stefan still needed air, and he closed his eyes and breathed, or at least tried to. He felt his lungs burn and fill with water and his body buckled in pain. It really was agonizing.

A fogginess came over him and he let himself go limp, welcoming the darkness and feeling nothing but loneliness and utter hopelessness.

* * *

"So you're telling me that you think Stefan is stuck in the bottom of the quarry?"

Katherine nodded at Damon, annoyed that he would even doubt her. She wasn't the type of person to just tell someone something of significance unless she did her research first. And she had done her research for this one. The Stefan who was walking around Mystic Falls was not really Stefan, and she could tell that pretty quickly. The way he had looked at her with such rage in his eyes when he first saw her after she got the cure... no, the real Stefan would have never done that. He would have been angry, but he would have been less obvious about it. She knew Stefan Salvatore well enough to know that he kept most of his rage inside. That, and the fact that Stefan would have never come back to Mystic Falls just to help her after she turned human. He would have said no and practically laughed in her face, but "Stefan" had willingly agreed, no questions asked and helped her adjust to being human. Why Silas (at least that was who she assumed the so-called "Stefan" was) had said yes, she still didn't know. Her second indication was that in the last three months, "Stefan" had not once picked up his journal. She had finally had to admit to herself then that "Stefan" was in fact Silas.

"I don't believe you," he said, tapping his fingers on his glass of bourbon, then resting it on the drink cabinet.

"Even if you don't believe me Damon, would it hurt to just check the bottom of the quarry?"

Damon sighed and rolled his eyes. "I guess not. But I'm having a really hard time believing you. You've lied about practically everything."

"Damon, please," Katherine smirked, "When it comes to Stefan, I never lie."

* * *

Damon's heart was pounding by the time he, Caroline, Katherine, and Elena reached the quarry. The summer night air was hot, humid, and uncomfortably sticky, but Damon had already been sweating with nervousness by the time they left the boarding house. He didn't really believe Katherine, but part of him still felt sick with worry. The idea of Stefan being stuck at the bottom of a lake for 3 months was somewhat terrifying and he was hoping that human bitch had it all wrong. He hoped to God the Stefan currently in Mystic Falls (doing God knows what) was the real Stefan and not Silas.

"I'm glad I told you all to wait until nighttime for this. Just in case Stefan.. or Silas, or whatever has Stefan's ring, providing we find him of course, we don't have to worry about him burning," Caroline said with an optimistic smile.

Elena nodded and looked around. "So.. who exactly is going to look?"

Damon immediately volunteered and handed Elena his phone. She looked at him closely, her eyes searching for hesitation but she smiled with relief when he nodded at her.

He set his shoes (getting the wet would ruin them) near the sandy, rocky shore and waded through the water until it was up to his thighs. After a moment of mental preparation, he dove in.

It was dark underwater, but Damon was still able to see around. He swam down, down, down and looked around for any sign of... anything, but found nothing at first and came up for air. Caroline yelled something along the lines of "Did you find anything?" and Damon shook his head. He took a huge gulp of air and dove down again.

This time, he did find something. No human would have been able to see it, but the moonlight helped Damon's already heightened senses see a little flicker of something gold-like. He swam towards it, his heart starting to pound with anticipation. To his shock, the gold-like object was the handle of the safe which has disappeared about 3 months ago.

Oh my God, Damon thought, that bitch was right.

With shaky hands, he pulled hard. Nothing happened and he pounded on the door with frustration. Sure, he could hold his breath longer than the average human, but he was running out of air and was starting to feel light-headed. He quickly entered the code to the safe and then pulled. To his relief, the safe door popped right off, and Damon's eyes went wide with shock.


	2. Chapter 2

Damon had seen his brother in pretty bad condition before. He remembered when they were kids and Stefan (who couldn't have been older than 14) had gotten in a fight with the jerk who lived on the plantation a few miles away. Stefan had come home with a bloody nose, a split lip, and a huge red welt on the side of his face. His father had gotten pissed at Stefan for "screwing around" and told him to go away. Damon was the one who had to clean up Stefan's face and address his wounds. But now, looking at his brother, Damon knew helping him wouldn't be as easy at it had been oh so long ago.

Stefan looked like the incarnation of death. His face was a sickly gray and was streaked with small black veins, and his cheekbones stuck out so much Damon thought he could actually cut himself on them. Stefan's hands were gray as well, and to Damon's shock, they looked like the hand of a skeleton. He supposed that was what Stefan was right now; nothing more than a skeleton.

Damon squeezed his eyes shut. _This is really happening_, he thought,_ I'm not insane_.

Damon swiftly grabbed the front of his brother's shirt and pulled him up, taking notice of how damn _skinny_ his brother was. Even through Stefan's shirt he could see his brother's ribs, and he blinked furiously, trying to get the image out of his head.

With some mild effort, Damon swam up with his arms around Stefan's torso, his brother's head bobbing limply. After a moment, Damon broke the surface of the water and took a huge breath of air. He faintly heard gasps coming from the shore, but ignored them and looked at Stefan, who was still unresponsive.

Finally, Damon reached the beach where the rest of the girls were waiting and hauled Stefan's body onto the rocks.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god..." Elena mumbled, her hands shaking as she reached for Stefan's face. "Oh my god...".

* * *

"Oh my god...".

The words faintly slipped through Stefan's mind. Something was different... those words were more clear now, more real. Something else was off too. He felt... free, open, like this huge pressure was lifted off of him.

Distant thoughts drifted into his mind; thoughts of laughter and crying and "oh my gods" and reassuring touches. He could feel the sense of relief around him and it was all very refreshing to him. It had been a while since he felt relief, let alone any positive emotion.

Though it was somewhat painful, Stefan cracked open his eyes. It was dark and the air was stale but... Air! There was air! Stefan gasped and _breathed_ sweet, sweet air. Never in his life did he think he would appreciate air so much. But _damn_, if felt so good to breath.

After taking in more than a few breaths, Stefan felt hands on him, holding him down and pushing his head back. _What are they doing_, he thought, _Can't they tell I need to breath?_

He tried to tell them to stop but all that came out was a raspy whimper. Exhausted, he finally let himself go limp and focused on steadying his breaths. He looked up at the dark sky and cringed when a dark-haired man came into his vision. The man's face was blurry but somewhat familiar. He felt like he should know who it was, but everything was overwhelming; the sky was overwhelming. It was closing in on him, blocking out the dark-haired man and making him feel drowsy.

After a moment's hesitation, Stefan let himself succumb to sleep.

* * *

When Stefan opened his eyes, he found himself in Damon's bedroom.

It was still and silent, and because the window in the corner of the room was cracked slightly, he could hear crickets chirping at the night. Next to him on the bed stand a half empty glass of blood was rested and the digital alarm clock read 2:11 a.m.

Staring at the glowing numbers, Stefan felt a strange knot beginning to form in his stomach. Something wasn't right... How did he end up on Damon's bed?

He looked to the left and to his surprise, the numbers on alarm clock began to flicker. Silently, the clock died and Stefan faintly wondered if the power had gone out. A glance at the glowing lamp in the corner of the room told him that his assumption was false.

He looked back to the clock and slightly cocked his head when the top of it began to liquefy. He cringed and felt his nostrils flare when he realized the clock was turning into blood and was starting to drip heavily on the bed stand and floor. Stefan's heart began to pound and his head began to throb as he tried to reach for the clock. He found he was stuck; held down by an invisible force threatening to make him pass out with panic.

Frustrated, Stefan quickly turned his head toward the ceiling and closed his eyes._ Stop_, he thought,_ please stop_. When he turned his head back towards the clock, he found it back to it's original form and reached out to it. It was solid, real. That's what mattered to Stefan. Nothing seemed solid anymore. It all felt dream-like and Stefan had to wonder if maybe he _was_ dreaming.

He had been through a few of these situations in his head; imagined what it would be like to get out of the safe. He did have his doubts about this current reality, but he wanted so badly for it to be real that he decided to go with it. To hell if it wasn't reality, he had suffered enough pain drowning over and over again that he wanted some sort of relief, some sort of happiness. For all he knew, this was the only way to be happy; to play along.

He silently got up from the bed and made his way to the bathroom, his footsteps quiet thumps in the dead of night. His fingers searched for the light switch and when they connected, Stefan cringed at the sudden illumination. The more his head became clearer the more he was able to think and he suddenly realized with slight horror that it had been... a _long_ time since he had seen light. He had no idea how long he had been in the safe.

Stefan had just turned on the faucet to rinse his face when a great wave of nausea came over him. Bending over, Stefan heartily coughed, convulsed, and cringed when red splatters appeared in the sink.

He stared at the stain of crimson and suddenly felt himself slipping. Before he could comprehend what was happening, the floor rushed up to meet him and he knew no more.

* * *

The girl with doe eyes smiled, and her eyes alit with knowledge, curiosity, and kindness. Her smile was warm and inviting and he felt the urge to kiss her. He leaned in slowly, and she did the same. When their lips met, it was electric and left his lips tingling. They sat there, foreheads resting against each other, oblivious to the world around them and enjoying her last moments as a mortal.

And then the sweetness of the moment was ripped away and everything was blood. His hands were covered with her blood, she was covered in her blood, and the witch was even covered with blood; blood from the deep slit in the girl's throat.

His hands raced to her neck and he tried to cover the wound, but she was already slipping. Her eyes were focused steadily on him and then... they weren't. They were distant, lost, empty. There was nothing left of the girl he loved. He had watched the light leave her eyes.

He stood up and charged towards the witch whose icy blue eyes were glowing with determination and satisfaction. She had completed her goal; the girl who _stole_ him was dead.

And now she had to punish him too.

* * *

Stefan opened his eyes and gasped, his lungs burning with every intake of breath. He sat up quickly, his head running with unfinished thoughts. What he had just seen... it was a memory. But it wasn't his. It was _Silas's_. Stefan had just re-lived one of Silas's memories through Silas's perspective, and god, was it awful.

Using the counter for support, he stood up slowly and made his way out of the bathroom. His head was pounding, but he made his way towards the door of the bedroom and rested his head against it for a moment. He knew he should tell someone about the memory, but he knew who was waiting for him downstairs... and he wasn't sure he wanted to deal with them. They would ask questions, fuss over him, try to help him. Being antisocial seemed like the best thing in the world to Stefan at the moment. He was content with feeling dream-like; it was almost comfortable.

Stefan sighed. Reluctantly, he opened the door and quietly stumbled out of the room.

* * *

***Hey everyone! Thank you so, so much for the positive reviews! I really appreciate your kindness. Hopefully you all enjoyed chapter two and I'll try to update as soon as possible! :)***


	3. Chapter 3

Elena had just poured herself and Caroline a drink when Damon came through the front door, slamming it behind him.

Elena stood up and nearly ran to him while harshly whispering, "Where have you been?".

"I'm sorry," Damon replied. "I just took Katherine back to her hotel."

Elena hugged him tightly and felt a slight pang of guilt while doing so. She and Damon had been happy with their relationship for the past three months while Stefan, whose heart she had broken, was drowning over and over and over... It made Elena feel sick with guilt.

Damon took a seat with Elena and they sat silently, all patiently waiting for Stefan to wake up. This is how it had been for the past few nights.

Finally Caroline spoke up and said, "We should have known... He was antisocial, distant.. Silas, er, Stefan or- you know what I mean. I know Stefan wasn't necessarily happy about you two but he wouldn't just come back to town and... and ignore us. God, we should have realized sooner."

Elena slowly nodded and bit her lip. She had been thinking that ever since Damon pulled Stefan out of the water. She especially should have known that Stefan wasn't really Stefan. Elena had believed that he was still uncomfortable with she and Damon together and really only came back to help Katherine. Elena cursed herself for being so dumb. He would have never disowned her because of her relationship with Damon.

"What I'm wondering," Damon began slowly, "... is how much this is going to affect him. I know my brother. He always seems to pull through but we don't know anything about what was going through his mind while he was in the safe. And what about the lack of blood? How much is this going to screw him up?"

They were silent again. Caroline leaned back into the couch and let out a long sigh.

"You know," she said, "We still have to get Stefan's ring back from Silas."

Damon nodded. "I know. We'll figure that out later. So since Bonnie is... dead, then does the spell have any effect? If the witch who cast the spell is gone, do you think that's why Silas was able to come back? "

Caroline and Elena both closed their eyes at Bonnie's memory. Jeremy (who was asleep upstairs) had finally cracked and told them she was dead. It had taken weeks for everyone to cope with it (they were still mourning), and they still felt empty at the mention of her name. No one had ever thought the spell would break with her death; no one ever thought that "Stefan" could be Silas.

"I would assume that's why." Elena said quietly.

"Do you think Silas knows we rescued Stefan?" Caroline asked, a frown sprawled across her face.

"Probably," Damon sighed. "Considering we haven't heard from him since we got Stefan back... yeah, I think he knows."

Elena looked down at her hands and fiddled with her daylight ring. It seemed like centuries since Stefan had given her that ring. She longed for the days when things were more simple, more easier.

When she looked up, her eyes made contact with a pair of green eyes and she gasped. Stefan was at the bottom of the stairs wearing a wary and nervous expression. She hadn't even heard him come down the steps.

Without hesitation, she ran to him and pulled him into a hug. He stood there motionless and for a moment Elena wondered if maybe he wasn't going to hug back. To her relief, he eventually put his arms around her and squeezed gently. She tried to ignore the feeling of bones underneath her touch.

Caroline came up to hug Stefan too and Elena studied his face which was somewhat expressionless. He looked better. The veins were now completely gone and he while he was still pale, he wasn't as white as a sheet. His cheekbones were still prevalent and he was still skinny as hell, but his overall condition seemed to be better. Elena smiled with relief.

Caroline finally let go of Stefan and Damon slowly walked over, a look of caution in his eyes. He smiled warily, and for the first time in nearly 50 years, he hugged his little brother.

Like he had for Elena, Stefan stood still for a moment. He creased his eyebrows and seemed slightly puzzled but finally wrapped his arms around his brother and squeezed, hard. Damon equally met his brother's strength then gently pushed his brother back. Still keeping his hands on Stefan's shoulders, he observed his baby brother's face carefully.

"Hey little bro," Damon said softly. "How do you feel?"

The room was silent except for the crackling of the fireplace and Stefan's shallow breathing. Stefan opened his mouth as if to say something but sighed instead. He closed his eyes and shook his head, frustration building up.

"I've been better," he finally said softly, his voice slightly cracking.

Damon nodded, patted Stefan on the shoulder, and let him over to the couch where they all sat down.

"We're just so happy you're back," Caroline said slowly. "Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

Elena understood Caroline's need to ask again. Stefan looked sweaty and uncomfortable while trying to comprehend her question. His eyes seemed glazed and he looked like he was having a hard time focusing.

Stefan nodded and mumbled, "Yeah, uh... What exactly happened? After I was out of the water, I mean."

"Well, what do you remember?" Elena asked, eyeing Stefan nervously.

Trying to recall as much as he could, Stefan slowly closed his eyes and struggled to concentrate. "I remember some things from while I was in the safe... and then I was awake and able to breath and I was being held down. Then I blacked out and woke up in Damon's room."

"Alright," Elena said calmly. "After Damon pulled you to the shore you woke up. We didn't want to, but we had to hold you down. We had no idea what you were going to do. You passed out after that."

"Yeah," Caroline piped in. "We took you home then and put you in some fresh clothes. We decided it would be best to leave you in his room. We've also been trying to get some blood into you. I think we've given you about two glasses over the past few days."

"Stefan?" Elena asked when Stefan didn't respond. He stared at the ground motionlessly for a moment then blinked and looked up, startled.

"I'm sorry..." he responded. "I'm just... out of it, that's all."

"Well, we don't blame you," Caroline assured. "Hey, are you hungry at all? You must be."

To everyone's surprise, Stefan shook his head no and explained, "I'm really not. I don't know why, but I feel no hunger whatsoever. I feel... numb, almost."

Better that than the opposite, Elena thought.

"Stefan..." Elena began, "I know this probably isn't the best time to say this but I feel like you deserve to know. For the past three months Silas has been running around... as you."

"Yeah, I know," Stefan responded, trying not to show shock at the new information that he had been gone for three months.

"You know? How?"

Stefan rubbed his face with his hands and contemplated how to explain what Silas had told him before stabbing him and dumping him in the lake. He knew it wasn't that hard to explain, but he was just so tired and everything was jumbled together. That's funny, he thought, I've been asleep for a few days now and all I want to do is sleep some more.

"He told me the spell broke because Bonnie was dead, which I didn't get at first but he appeared as you, Elena, and started going on about the immortality spell and how nature needed to create a balance or something. He said that nature created an alternate version of him... a doppelganger. Then he showed me his real face and it-it was me."

"You're Silas's doppelganger? What the hell?" Damon muttered. "Are you sure?"

"I'm absolutely positive," Stefan said, yawning.

"Alright, well, why don't we leave it at that tonight, okay?" Caroline added, sensing Stefan's exhaustion.

Elena made eye contact with Stefan and she felt her breath catch the same way it used to when she and him were dating. God, even sick and broken, Stefan still looked incredible. And his eyes... Elena could stare into them forever if she could. They were still the same shade of green as before, only this time they were a bit more hopeless and lost; his eyes told her that he felt he didn't belong and she knew that was partly because of her. Though she hated herself for thinking of him in this way, she had to admit to herself that Stefan looked a bit like a puppy who had been kicked too many times.

"I think," Stefan murmured, "I'm going to go get cleaned up. You know, shower and whatnot. Then I'll probably go back to bed. Maybe that will help clear my head."

"Stefan! You should finish the glass of blood by the bed. Oh! Gosh, how could I forget? You-you don't have your ring, either. So just... be careful," Caroline added.

"Will do," Stefan murmured while letting out a long yawn.

He cautiously rose from his seat and sauntered towards the stairs.

"I don't know what to think about what just happened," Caroline uttered after Stefan disappeared around the steps.

Though she wouldn't admit it out loud, Elena felt the same way. Stefan was different and she wasn't quite sure how to deal with that.

* * *

*Hey everyone! Thanks again for the positive feedback! I struggled a bit writing this chapter, so hopefully it's satisfactory. I'll try to update soon! :)*


	4. Chapter 4

As soon as Stefan reached Damon's room, he started peeling off his clothes. He was practically sweating through his shirt and was looking forward to taking a cold shower. But it was odd for Stefan to pull of his shirt and see himself in the mirror. He was skinny, frail; nearly half the size he was just a few months ago. He poked mindlessly at his ribs and stepped into the shower.

Standing underneath the cool water brought an unexpected comfort to Stefan. He supposed it was because he had gotten so used to being in water that being in its presence again felt...natural.

His thoughts wandered back to what had happened downstairs. Three months. Three damn_ months_ he had been gone. It had taken everyone that long to figure out he wasn't really in Mystic Falls? He didn't _really_ blame them. After all, he didn't know the full story just yet, just like they didn't know his, and while he would have liked to hear more about what happened during his time... away, he was just too tired to really give a damn. That was the reason he hadn't told them about the memory. And the hallucination? He would be sure to keep that one to himself.

About half way through their conversation, Stefan had started to feel debilitated and disoriented. He still felt that way, and part of him worried that that feeling would never leave him, just like the dream-like state of mind had stuck with him ever since he woke up. It was somewhat terrifying to him; to feel like you were never fully awake. He felt like he was losing a grip on reality and that was something he had always feared. He hoped a good night's sleep would help clear his head.

After showering, he stood next to the bed and looked warily at the glass of blood. By no means did it seem appealing to him, but he cautiously put the glass to his lips and began to drink. It wasn't so bad at first, but after a moment the blood seemed to solidify and started to block his airway. Stefan opened his mouth wide and tried to breath, but his lungs refused to cooperate. His hands went to his throat and he started to cough, red splatters going all over Damon's bed and onto the floor. It wasn't until he started to convulse that he closed his eyes and tried to call for help. When he opened his eyes, he found himself standing next to the bed; no red splatters, no spilled blood, no choking. He was standing in the exact same spot as he had been before with the half full glass of blood still in his hand.

_I'm insane_, he thought,_ I'm losing my mind_.

He set the glass down and rubbed his eyes while taking shaky breaths. He contemplated sleeping in his bed or Damon's, but eventually decided to go back to his own bed.

Sleepiness was threatening to consume him, but as Stefan lay in bed, he found himself unable to actually _fall_ asleep. Memories of drowning and hallucinations from when he was inside the safe were starting to overwhelm him and he found himself gasping for air at some points during the rest of the night. By six a.m. he was done trying to sleep and got up, carefully avoiding the sunlight streaming through some of the windows that weren't covered by curtains.

Without his ring, Stefan felt naked. He had grown so used to having it on that the absence of it was uncomfortable and made him even more cautious than he usually was. He was grateful Caroline had told him it was missing and made a mental note to thank her later.

By the time Stefan had gotten dressed and wandered downstairs, everyone was up. Jeremy, Elena, Damon, Caroline, and Katherine were seated in the parlor and drinking either coffee or blood. Caroline smiled and offered Stefan a glass of the crimson liquid when he entered the room, but Stefan declined. He was nauseous and felt like trying to choke down blood would only prove to be a disaster.

_That's funny_, he thought grimly, _I never thought I would turn down blood._

Startled by Jeremy's presence, Stefan raised an eyebrow at him and Jeremy chuckled.

"Bonnie did a spell to bring me back," Jeremy explained quietly, his voice dropping with every word.

Stefan didn't need an explanation to know that Bonnie was gone. Sure, Silas had told him that, but the look on everyone's faces when her name was mentioned would have been enough.

Elena quickly asked him if he was okay and he nodded, keeping his eyes on her eyes a little longer than what was necessary. She was special, that Elena Gilbert. But in that moment, something had changed in him. He no longer looked at Elena and felt jealous or bitter of Damon. He just...didn't feel for her the same way he used to. And that was a little bit scary for Stefan, but he knew he would finally be able to let go.

As Caroline chatted on about her plans for the day, Stefan let his eyes wander away from Elena and around the room. It didn't really look any different, except for maybe a few new pictures here and there, but Stefan still felt as if he wasn't really there; as if he were somewhere else and this was just a cloak thrown over his eyes to make him see what he wanted.

He had completely tuned out of Caroline's conversation but finally listened in when Caroline ended with a question.

"...Elena and Damon and Jeremy and I will back back later, alright? Katherine will stay here with you."

"What?" Stefan asked, startled.

Caroline's laughter was filled with slight annoyance.

"Damon and Elena and Jeremy and I are going to Whitmore to take care of some last minute registration things while you stay here with Katherine. Don't give me that look! You two will be fine. We'll be back soon and then we'll explain everything. I promise. And stay out of the sunlight!"

At that, Katherine looked over at Stefan and smiled smugly. Stefan sighed. This was going to be a_ long_ day.

"Don't worry Stefan. I don't bite," she muttered. "I _can't_ bite. You just have to promise not to eat _me_, that's all."

Though he knew Katherine meant this as a joke, Stefan did sense a slight hint of fear in her voice. Apparently she still wasn't quite used to being human. Stefan certainly wasn't used to it either. He realized it the moment he came downstairs (her body temperature and heartbeat gave it away) and couldn't help but feel slightly envious. Of _all_ people, she had to be the one to get it, didn't she?

* * *

By 8 o'clock, Stefan and Katherine were the only ones left in the parlor and an uneasy silence filled the room.

"I don't know if I'm supposed to be babysitting you or if you're supposed to be babysitting me," Katherine said with disgust. "You know, back when you were human, I would have..."

Stefan listened mindlessly to her conversation with herself.

_Good lord_, he thought, _she really does like to hear herself talk._

Stefan's eyes wandered towards the clock which read 8:03 am. A long sigh escaped through his lips and he let his eyes slowly flutter close. When he opened them, the room was silent and the clock read 9:00.

Stefan furrowed his brows, confusion and panic beginning to arise. He blinked a few times, looked over, and gasped.

In a growing puddle of blood lay Katherine's lifeless body.

* * *

***Hello everyone! I'm amazed at how many kind reviews I keep getting and I really appreciate them! Thank you everyone for your support. It shouldn't be all that long until chapter five is up. :)***


	5. Chapter 5

Stefan stood up then fell to his knees, his hands searching Katherine's neck for any sign of a pulse. It was a natural reaction really; he knew even before he touched her lower jaw he wouldn't find anything. She was gone. Dead. One side of her neck completely ripped out without any warning.

Stefan sat back and tightly shut his eyes. His breathing and hands were shaky and his thoughts were running a mile a minute. He didn't... he_ couldn't_ have killed Katherine. But then why was there blood on his hands? Why was there a slightly bloody taste on his lips? Why did he lose time? He blinked over and over, each time hoping to wake up and see Katherine alive and well. To his dismay, it didn't work. Terrified, Stefan felt hot tears rolling down his cheeks. It couldn't have been him. It had to have been someone else. He couldn't have killed _her_.

This was _Katherine_. Katherine... his first love. The one who had made him laugh harder than anyone else ever had. The one he first said 'I love you' to. The one who manipulated him. The one who he hated more than anything. The one he wanted to go away...

_No_, Stefan thought. _Stop. She was human... she didn't deserve to die_.

He was confused, disoriented. It was too dark in the parlor. It was too hot. He needed to get out. But he couldn't. He didn't have his damn ring.

Stefan stood up and stumbled to the bathroom while observing his hands. They were pale and the bright crimson liquid stood out more than ever. It made him feel uncomfortable and exposed. He wiped his hands vigorously on his pants before finally scrubbing them underneath the water.

This was all because of water, wasn't it? None of this would have happened if Silas wouldn't have dumped him the the damn quarry and screwed with his head. Stefan felt his breaths begin to steady as his face began to flush with anger. Silas... god, he wanted to rip him apart. And he would. Even if it was the last thing he did.

As Stefan wiped his hands dry, he heard the front door open.

Oh god, he thought. Oh god oh god ohgod...

* * *

Caroline's expression had gone from bright and excited to shocked and disturbed as soon as she entered the front door.

The smell was overwhelming. It was the smell of blood; an iron-like, thick, _beautiful_ scent that currently had no place at the boarding house.

_Oh my gosh_, she thought. _What did he do?_

Caroline carefully strode over to where the body was and felt for a pulse on the side of Katherine's neck that wasn't torn apart. Nothing.

The blonde looked up and made eye contact with a sweaty, startled, and shaking Stefan.

She saw in his eyes an expression she had never seen before. It was an expression that screamed 'help me' but also cried 'don't come near me'. It was the most desperate look she had ever seen on his face, and she knew instantly that Stefan, the man who had once been so calm and collected, was falling apart.

As the world around her seemed to freeze, Caroline slowly looked down at Katherine. She did feel slightly guilty. She had promised Katherine that staying with Stefan would be fine; that Stefan was too weak to hurt her, that he was too tired, that his hunger was under control. She had even given Katherine vervain syringes just in case something were to go wrong. And now... she was dead. This _girl_ who had been given a second chance to live was dead. Because of Stefan... but that just didn't seem right. Sure, Stefan had his dark side, but would he actually kill his first love? Caroline thought not, but she did consider the fact that no one had _really_ had the chance to fully evaluate Stefan's mental state since getting out of the safe. That was everyone's mistake. They should have talked to him first.

Caroline stood up slowly and inched towards Stefan. He was_ really_ shaking and although his eyes were red, he wasn't crying. Caroline felt pity most among other things. He was just_ lost_. He didn't really seem to know what was going on.

She came face to face with him and put her hands on both of his shoulders. His breathing was coming in small gasps and Caroline felt through his shirt an overwhelming heat radiating from him. Was it normal for vampires' skin to be so hot?

"Stefan," she said gently, as if she were talking to a child. "Stefan... I need you to tell me what happened, okay? What happened? It's alright."

Stefan squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

"I don't... I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I just don't... I lost time... I don't know what happened."

Caroline nodded. This was now turning into a difficult situation. She needed to get rid of the body, she needed to take care of Stefan, she needed Elena, Damon, and Jeremy to either do something or go away. She needed stability but Stefan, who was normally a source of stability for her, was not exactly able to offer her that at the moment.

_Don't panic_, she told herself, _I can handle this._

"Damon. Jeremy. You two are going to take care of the body, you understand?"

The boys nodded.

"Elena, I'm going to clean up the floor. You take Stefan to his room, okay?"

Elena nodded with slight confusion. Caroline wondered if maybe Elena wasn't the best person to talk to Stefan, but she didn't really have any other choice. This needed to be taken care of _now_.

"Go!" Caroline shouted, and everyone solemnly presumed their jobs.

* * *

Elena gently took Stefan by the arm and led him up the stairs to his room. She was taken aback by the pure heat of his skin, but held down her surprise for his own sake. It seemed that the last thing Stefan needed was something else to worry about.

The simple truth was that Elena really had no idea what was going on. One minute Stefan was up and walking around and seemingly fine, and now... Katherine was dead and it sure as hell looked like Stefan had done it. She had assumed he was alright; he had said he was. But she knew Stefan would say he was fine even if he wasn't. He would never want to "bother" them with his own personal problems. Elena blamed herself for this; she never should have let Stefan stay home with Katherine.

She led Stefan to the bed and they sat down side-by-side. His breathing had calmed and he seemed to be able to grasp what was going on better, but he still seemed disoriented.

"Stefan... what happened?" she asked quietly.

He was silent.

"Stefan?"

"I just... I don't understand," he began. "I don't get it. I wouldn't kill Katherine. But there was- is _still_ blood on my hands and I taste it and I don't know why. And I lost time. Did I tell you that? One minute it was eight in the morning and then it was nine. I don't know why any of this is happening and I have to tell you... it scares me. It really does."

"Well I don't blame you," Elena said slowly. "I would be freaked out, too."

She sighed and they sat there for a few moments, each trying to think of something else to say about the grave situation.

"I know this probably isn't the best time to tell you all about this summer, but as long as we have some time to kill... Do you want to know what happened? You deserve to know. And I'm so sorry we didn't tell you before. I feel like maybe... things would have turned out a little different if we had told you right away, if that makes sense." Elena said.

Stefan nodded.

"Alright, well... You left, obviously, and Damon and I were good. Happy, I mean. Things were great, which only makes me feel worse about what happened to you but... You came back then, a few weeks later. Or- Silas did. Katherine called him for help because she was struggling so much with adjusting and she thought you would help. We all doubted you would come back... but you did. Silas did. We don't really know why. But he helped her, which is strange considering he was trying to adjust to being back in the real world too."

"He avoided us for the most part. Told us he was back only for a while and then helped Katherine. He went off and did his own thing and we all just assumed it was because you didn't want to have to see Damon and I, which is so selfish now to think that, but we didn't know any better. And I mean... we were all a little let down that you didn't want to see us. We thought you were angry at all of us, not just Damon and I. Caroline didn't understand it. She tried talking to him but he just... brushed it off."

"And then we found out Bonnie died. And- and it was awful. I guess maybe we thought something might have happened with the spell but no one really thought much of it. So I'm sorry Stefan. I'm sorry we didn't know sooner. I'm sorry you were drowning over and over again while I was happy."

Stefan was once again silent.

Elena went on and found words spilling out of her mouth that she couldn't stop, "But you should know two things. One, it was Katherine who first suspected you weren't.. you. I guess it makes sense. She was with him the most. But he must have been good at being you because she didn't figure it out until later on."

"And two... something happened between Silas and I. I thought it was you, but there was one day when he was actually talking to me. We were talking and it was so nice, just to be able to hear you talk. And I was looking at you, er, him... and the way he looked at me... I- he- _we_ kissed. I thought I was kissing you, Stefan. Because I wanted to."

* * *

***Hey guys! I know I keep saying this but seriously, thank you all so much for your feedback. I love seeing new reviews and I love seeing what you all think. Thanks again. I really appreciate it! :)***


	6. Chapter 6

"Elena..." Stefan began, but couldn't finish. Where did he start? All of this... Katherine, Elena kissing him, _everything_; it was all too overwhelming. She had kissed Silas thinking it was him, and that wasn't okay. She was with Damon. She had said they were happy together, so why would she kiss him? Or maybe she was just trying to distract him from...

"I don't think I understand that," Stefan muttered.

"You don't have to," Elena reasoned. "I don't really understand it myself, but it was a mistake. I'm sorry, but it was. I just thought you should know. I didn't want you to hear it from anyone else."

"Silas, you mean?" Stefan asked.

"Yes, Silas. Or Caroline."

"Alright."

And Stefan decided to tell Elena something very important; something he had been trying to convince himself of for a while now. It was something he had said before, but he knew this time he meant it. Better to get it out now rather than later.

"Elena, lately my head has been pretty blurry. Things are different. I don't think the same way I used to. I don't feel the same way about some things that I used to. I don't feel the same way about you."

He paused when her expression dropped.

"Listen, I will always love you, but like you once said to me, I'm not in love with you anymore. And I'm sorry, especially now. So that's it."

And to Stefan's relief, Elena nodded and smiled.

"Alright," she said, and Stefan knew that had settled it.

And then all at once the weight at what had happened just a few minutes ago came rushing back and Stefan was getting dizzy. Katherine... Katherine was dead. They all thought he killed her. And maybe he did. He wanted to confess; to just open up and tell them all he did it but how could he confess to something he wasn't sure he did?

"I'm so lost," he whispered, and lay back on the bed.

Immediately he sensed something was different. Stefan blinked slowly and looked suspiciously at Elena. She was crying... but why? Stefan couldn't think of a reason she would be crying. But then tears- no, water was pouring to fast from her eyes. Her hair was dripping wet and her clothes were soaked through.

Panic-ridden, Stefan sat up and began to gag. Painfully, he threw up water and felt his hair and clothes becoming soaked through. The room was quickly filling up with water and the water was already up to the bed. Then suddenly a terrifying and very real thought came into his mind.

_I'm still in the safe_, he thought,_ I'm still in the safe and this is the false reality coming to a close_.

As he had done so many times before, Stefan pushed the air out of his lungs once the water was above his head. The bubbles tickled his face, and he involuntarily tried to suck in air. Only this time, instead of his lungs filling with water, they did fill with air and Stefan gasped and sat up straight on his bed.

There was no water. His clothes were dry, as was the room and everything in it. Nothing had changed except for Elena no longer being with him.

Confused, he quietly called out Elena's name, but sighed and rubbed his hand over his face when he didn't get an answer. Of _course_ she wouldn't be there. A glance at the clock told Stefan it had been hours since she was in the room with him. Had he been asleep for that long?

He got up and carefully peeked behind the curtain. As he had suspected, it was dark out.

His footsteps were soft thumps against the hardwood as he made his way downstairs. The front parlor was empty, and Stefan slowly made his way to the spot where Katherine's body had been.

Caroline had done a good job cleaning up the floor; there was nothing left that could suggest someone had been murdered.

At that thought, Stefan cringed. He was fully ready to accept that he had killed Katherine no matter how disgusted that made him feel about himself.

"Damon? Elena? Caroline?" Stefan called out.

There was no answer.

_Alright then_, he thought, _That's a little strange but I'll go with it._

Deciding to take advantage of his current freedom, Stefan found his keys to the Ferrari and cautiously started the car. He feared the sound of the engine starting would be heard by someone (even if no one seemed to be home) but quickly released the fear as he drove farther and farther away from the boarding house.

An enormous amount of relief came over Stefan as he left. For him, it was escaping all of the awful things that had happened in the house. The hallucinations, the confusion, the blood and killing; it was all left behind and a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders.

He drove aimlessly around Mystic Falls for a while, just enjoying the summer air and his new flexibility. Where he was going to go, he didn't know.

At last he drove to the quarry and slowly got out of the car. He thought he would maybe not be able to handle being near the place that had caused him so much pain, but it really didn't bother it frightened him, Stefan finally felt like he was home.

He sat down on the shore, his feet barely touching the edge of the water. There was something so relaxing about being back that he felt himself drifting to sleep. He let his eyes flutter close, but opened them at the hoot of an owl. To his surprise, Stefan found himself knee deep in the water. This time, instead of totally panicking, Stefan drew in sharp breaths and let the built up tears fall.

He hated himself for crying, but he found once he started he couldn't stop. It just felt so damn good to cry. He waded out of the water and sat down once again, biting his quivering lip.

"It feels nice to just let it all out, doesn't it?"

Stefan gasped and turned around, his eyes landing on... himself.

"Silas," Stefan said, quickly wiping away tears.

Silas deviously smiled.

* * *

Caroline's eyes fluttered open and she sat up gasping. Next to her, Elena did the same and Damon and Jeremy followed, each looking as confused as Caroline felt.

Her memory was blotchy, but she did remember some things. The three of them had gone outside to get some air when Silas showed up pissed as ever. He attacked them and demanded to know where Stefan was, but the three of them were able to put up a good fight and get Stefan's ring... by cutting off a few of Silas's fingers. He had yelled, but after backing up and holding his hand, he dropped to the ground. Caroline didn't even have time to comprehend what was happening before she did the same.

And now, Silas was gone and she and the others were waking up from... whatever it was that had happened to them.

Caroline glanced at Elena and she shook her head, a silent 'I have no idea' passing between the girls. Realizing she was the last one to have the ring, Caroline looked down at her hands. There was nothing in them or on them, for that matter, except for Silas's blood.

_Oh no_, she thought, _Please tell me he didn't grab it again_.

She stood up and turned in circles, searching the concrete for the silver and blue object. Nothing.

"Huh," Damon said from her left, and held up the ring in the moonlight.

"He left it?" Caroline half-yelled half-cried. "Why would he leave it?"

"Probably figured we would kick his ass again," Damon replied with a grin. "Does it really matter now? We've got it."

Caroline nodded, snatched the ring from Damon, and nearly ran to the house. She was going to give Stefan his ring _now_. But when she entered the boarding house, it was unusually quiet. She ran to Stefan's room and began to panic when she found it empty.

_No_, she thought, _No, please tell me he's home_.

But after searching the rest of the house, there was no sign of Stefan anywhere.

"The keys?" she asked the others. "Are all the keys here?"

Damon ran to where the keys were kept and counted them.

"They're all there," Damon exclaimed, secretly surprised Stefan hadn't taken the Ferrari.

Caroline sat down on the couch, defeated. What now? Where had Stefan gone? More importantly, what if he hurt someone?

"_Oh Stefan_," she sighed.

* * *

***Hi everyone! I'm so sorry it took me this long to update. I was lacking some inspiration, but I finally got it done. Thanks everyone for your continued support!***


	7. Chapter 7

"You...," Stefan began. "Are you real? Or is this all in my head?"

Silas chuckled. "This is real."

"Then why- what do you want? If you wanted to kill me, you would have done it already, so what is it that you want?" Stefan questioned.

"I just want to talk."

Stefan was silent. He nonchalantly looked at Silas's hand and furrowed his brow in confusion. It was dripping with blood and wasn't healing.

"Your hand... what's wrong with it?," Stefan tensely questioned.

Silas lifted up his hand and smirked. "I ran into your friends and they weren't very pleased with my presence. And your hand? Wouldn't you say that's a bit strange?"

Stefan looked down at his hand and gasped. There was a deep, long cut running across his fingers... in the same place Silas's cut was. Stefan hadn't completely lost his fingers as Silas had (although Silas's fingers _were_ growing back slowly), but it was bleeding just as much.

"Why is this happening? Why aren't you- I healing?" Stefan muttered partly to Silas but mostly to himself.

"It's because,_ dearest_ doppelganger," Silas began, "we're linked. There's a spell linking you to me. Whatever happens to me happens to you. And I suppose that's why I keep seeing some of your memories, as I assume you've seen some of mine."

Stefan shook his head. "That doesn't explain why I feel so... so...".

Silas chuckled. "Shitty? Yeah, I feel the same way. Although you seem to be taking it harder, which makes sense considering your strength isn't even a fraction of what mine same witch that linked us is somehow slowly but surely killing me, or at least making me weaker and weaker until I won't be able to function anymore and I don't know how. Our bodies aren't functioning right. I'm dying, Stefan. And because of the linking spell, we both are."

As Silas finished his explanation, everything in Stefan's mind clicked. The hallucinations, the lost, dizzy feeling, the loss of time... it all made sense. Stefan felt like he was fading because, well, he _was_ fading.

"How do you know it's a spell?"

"I know of some very talented witches who can spot a linking spell in the blink of an eye. It didn't take them long to figure it out. The witch I spoke to said the spell was probably cast right around the time you popped out of that lake. I don't know who cast it, but I swear I'm going to rip them apart, after they undo it of course."

"Do you have any idea who this witch is?" Stefan asked solemnly.

Silas smirked. "No idea. But Stefan, I'm weak, as are you. If you try to take me down, odds are I won't go down_ right_ away, but you... you'll drop like a fly. So for now, warn your friends not to attack me anymore. At least until I hunt down the witch that's trying to destroy me and kill him or her."

With that, Silas slyly smiled and disappeared, leaving Stefan alone on the shore. He sat there, a feeling of dread beginning to arise. Did his life now depend on Silas's ability to take down this unknown witch? The thought made Stefan sick with worry. And what if Silas was attacked? Stefan would drop, just as Silas had said. He decided, after a moment's hesitation, that the only way to ensure his own safety would be to find this witch himself.

"Stefan!"

Stefan whipped his head around and saw Caroline running towards him. Her face was ghostly white and streaked with sweat. "Gosh, do you know how long we looked for you? We went outside, came back in, and you were gone."

Stefan shook his head. "I'm sorry.." he murmured. "I just needed some air."

"Yeah?" Caroline asked. "Well air my ass. What, did you walk all the way here? And what happened to your hand?"

He grimly chuckled. "My hand? I'll... I'll explain later. And no, I took the Ferrari. "

Caroline tilted her head, a curious expression sprawled across her face. "No... Stefan, the keys to the Ferrari were at home. We thought you might have taken the car but.. but you didn't."

"I must have walked then," Stefan quickly spat out, trying to hide his shock.

Caroline offered him a hand and they walked quietly to her car. Stefan noticed her constant concerned glances at him, and he tried to ignore her them. _Please_, he thought._ Why can't anything go right?_ He didn't want to burden Caroline with his problems. She already had enough on her mind. He would tell her about Silas, but decided he could keep everything else to himself.

"Stefan..." Caroline began as they drove away. "I hate to ask this and bring it up again, I really do... but did you kill Katherine?"

He sighed and closed his eyes. "I don't know."

"I keep thinking of reasons to prove that you didn't but it's hard. I know you. I know you wouldn't do something like that unless you were provoked or... or you just weren't you. You know Jeremy really tried to prove that you didn't. He said that Katherine probably had vervain in her system so you would've... you know, choked or something, but we were all a little... upset to tell him she didn't. She only had vervain in her bracelet. That was a bad move on our part. And that's the thing. I feel like everything bad that has happened is because of something we goofed up on. I just... I feel so bad. I feel sorry that we can't do anything for you, either. I can't really explain it."

"You don't have to feel bad for anything," Stefan responded. "I've just been... a little off, that's all. I need time." And Stefan realized how much that last statement proved true. He needed time. He needed time to find that witch before... before it was too late. He looked at Caroline. "Silas told me something."

She turned toward him. "Silas? You saw Silas? When?"

"At the lake." He sighed. "He told me there's a spell linking us, so whatever happens to him happens to me, which is why my hand is hurt. He told me to tell you and the others not to attack him because you'll just hurt me."

Caroline's mouth gaped open. "I... I- okay. Alright, I need to tell the others that right now." She pulled the car over. "Here, take your ring. We went outside and he showed up so we took the opportunity to get it back. I'm sorry. We wouldn't have tried so hard to get it if we would've known. Did he tell you anything else?"

Stefan shook his head as he slipped on his ring. _She doesn't need to know_, he thought. _This is my problem, not hers or anyone else's. I can take care of this myself without having to worry the others_. An uneasiness settled in his chest as Caroline furiously texted the others. Part of him wanted to let Silas locate and take care of the witch himself, but the sensible part of Stefan told him not to trust Silas. How did he know that Silas wouldn't negotiate with the witch and only save his own life? Silas had no reason to let Stefan live.

By the time Caroline had finally pulled up to the boarding house, Stefan was nearly asleep. A drowsiness had settled over him since he and Caroline had finished their conversation, and he wanted more than anything to fall into his bed. To Stefan's dismay, he had to deal with the others and their rapid-firing questions. Luckily, Caroline sensed Stefan's weariness and dismissed the inquiries, telling them she'd answer all of their questions for Stefan.

As he entered his bedroom, Stefan pulled off his shirt, then collapsed into bed. He found it relatively easy to fall asleep and within minutes his drifted into a blissful state of unconsciousness. When he awoke again, he found himself surrounded by an uneasy silence. Stefan turned on his side and gasped.

"Katherine," he whispered, his voice laced with wonder.

Next to him, Katherine lay, her face looking towards the ceiling. She was wearing a lacy, short, white dress and her olive skin had an unnatural yet mystifying glow. Her eyes didn't break contact with Stefan's as she turned to face him.

"Hi Stefan," she said softly.

Stefan reached out to her and gently took her hand. To his surprise, he didn't feel anything. He could see his hand touching her, but there was no warmth, no comfort. She was practically non-existent.

"Are you real?" Stefan whispered.

Katherine smiled. "Of course not. But does it matter? I'm here. We can finally talk now."

"I'm so sorry," Stefan began. "I'm sorry I killed you. I have no idea what happened. I'm so sorry."

Katherine shook her head. "You didn't kill me Stefan. Do you really think you're capable of that?"

A sad smile tugged at Stefan's lips. "I often surprise myself when it comes to my capabilities."

Her doe eyes still lingering on Stefan's green eyes, Katherine reached out and rested her hand on Stefan's cheek. Though his first instinct was to pull away, Stefan let her hand stay. For the first time in a very, _very_ long time, Stefan saw the girl he had first fallen in love with. He saw her as he did before the rivalry, before the manipulation. And she was _beautiful._

It made him feel horribly guilty.

Katherine's fingers lingered on his lips before pulling away. "I don't want you to feel guilty."

"I should feel guilty. You're dead because of me."

"No," she said softly. "Not because of you. Never because of you."

And with that, she leaned forward and planted her lips on his. Though Stefan couldn't feel her hands, he could clearly feel her lips and an immense warmth flooded through him. Kissing her made him feel young again; like he was still just an average seventeen year old human boy experiencing love for the first time. Even after she pulled away, Stefan let his eyes stay closed and he thought warmly of her kiss. When he opened his eyes, she was gone.

"Goodbye Katherine." he whispered.

* * *

***Hi all! Sorry it took me so long to upload this chapter! Hopefully everything makes sense (it all makes sense in my head but writing it down is a different story) so if something is unclear (and you think it won't be answered in future chapters) let me know in the reviews! Thanks everyone for your support!* **


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